omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
