is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
