...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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