too bad you live with your parents still
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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