You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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