Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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