oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
