Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
