You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
