i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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