i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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