I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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