He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
