How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
