this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
