I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
