Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
