No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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