No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
