DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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