you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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