Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
