What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
