I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
