Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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