woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
