I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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