Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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