currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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