Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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