Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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