Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
They took my balls.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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