he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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