My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
