I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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