can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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