why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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