I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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