So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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