kristin has been a bad kristin
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
