dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They took my balls.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
