Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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