your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
