if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
