how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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