make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
