And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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