My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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