absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
