Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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