Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
