From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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