OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
