He is such a slut. More and more my type.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
